Where did the thought of you originate in me?
From the expectations + beliefs of others. the denial of my own identity.
For approval. of you. with you. for the ones who look like you.
Both of us tripped and fell into Should.
Detest between our legs, disguised as intimacy. we fanned the flames as one, two…four…seven New Year’s came and went. loss of respect. shallow displays of love. but committed nonetheless. in the name of Jesus. our roles in tact, like the perfect dollhouse scene. The Should between us becoming less attractive as your fondness for another became your Must-Have.
The chains keeping us bound together, leaving and cleaving to emptiness. were finally broken. cycles of regret, loss, God’s will, fear. And forgiveness.